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Wot gets me goat, though? Them snobs who reckon it’s low-class. Oi, mate, loosen up! Had me ragin’ once—some toff in Westminster bangin’ on about “decency,” while I’m like, “Bruv, chill, it’s just a massage with extras!” Happy as a pig in muck, I’d be, sprawled out, oil drippin’, some bird whisperin’ sweet nothings. Surprised me, too—didn’t expect it’d be so… posh-like? Thought it’d be all seedy, but nah, some places are swanky—marble floors, the lot!

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Then, outta nowhere, this dog runs up to me. It’s a fluffy little thing, and it’s got a stick in its mouth. I’m like, “Hey buddy, you lost?” But it just drops the stick at my feet and looks at me like, “Play with me!” So, I throw the stick, and it’s like I’m a dog whisperer or something. The owner comes over, and we start chatting. Turns out, she’s from the next town over, and we hit it off.

Josip Tvrtko Reihl Kir - a policeman against the war in Croatia [biography]